I've been heartened to see new books appearing that help people being bullied to claim back their personal space and self-worth. They come from different perspectives, but a common thread runs through them. They encourage the person being bullied to see themselves as a 'target', not a 'victim'. There's a huge difference.
If you see yourself as a victim, then you're likely to look for solutions outside yourself. Relying totally on processes and procedures ignores everyone's need to find their own strength and inner balance. And while the EU and the UK have outlawed workplace bullying, the fight for legislation is still on in many other countries.
If you see yourself as a target, it's easier to believe that you can be part of the solution. Dr Daniel Scott's fabulous book 'Verbal Self Defense in the Workplace' draws on the principles of Aikido and NLP to create a firm foundation for beating the office bully. Gary and Ruth Namie (both PhDs) subtitle their book 'The Bully at Work' 'what you can do to stop the hurt and reclaim your dignity on the job'. They focus on personal safety, but the outcome is the same for both - engineering your own exit from the abusive situation.
My own book, 'Getting Back on Track' offers a seven-step process for recovering from workplace distress.
- Understand what you want - in vivid detail. Be as creative as you like in developing this vision.
- Understand what's happening to you. Talk this through with someone neutral to save straining close relationships.
- Reconnect with who you are at your best - your strengths, values and achievements.
- Honour your real self and from that self, learn what you need to keep yourself safe in future.
- Take the steps you need to bring your vision for the future to life.
- Trust your intuition as life opens up again.
- Find your passion and purpose to keep you in tune with your best self.
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